Not the most eloquent line I have ever written… but it is true. A lot has happened since I last posted, with the world and with me and my family. It has been rough and I stopped writing much of anything for a while. Lately however, I am seeing signs ALL OVER THE PLACE that I need to pick up a few of my works-in-progress and get moving on them. Not everyone believes in signs and that is cool. You do you.

2022 has been full of signs pointing me in one direction so I am getting back to it. Songs on the radio, my friends of all kinds and both their woes and celebrations. My own feelings and actions of course and the consequences that they bring. 2022 has been a busy year so far and hopefully it will be better than 2020 and 2021….. fingers crossed!

A few pop culture references for you, because I am all about that.

Did you see the new DUNE? What did you think? I need to go back and reread. I did read many of the prequels and sequels. Some were really good!

I still need to see Jodorowsky’s Dune. I have read about it and it sounds truly facinating.

Did you see Ghostbusters Afterlife? I found it hilarious, way funnier than I expected and yet sweet and well done. What did you think about it?

It’s probably obvious, but it really hits home in that moment when you are talking with other writers about sex scenes and you realize that folks have very different ideas on what constitutes “good sex.” It’s not about who does what to whom, but how does the reader know that the characters are enjoying themselves.

Asking writers to describe what the female orgasm looks like on the page, and same for the men. There are a lot of different folks out there so we will get a lot of variety in our responses. Could you show someone or use words to describe it accurately?

What is a sensual experience? What exactly makes it sensual? (The senses of course, but what else, what makes it special?) Describing sound, taste, smell, plus of course the visuals and touch can take a lot of time to make it feel accurate.

What is a sexual experience? (Let’s stick to the positive ones for the time being.) I’m also focusing on a partnered experience here, but one does not need a partner for an excellent and arousing scene.

When writing sex scenes stamina, lubrication and vocalization all differ in a wide spectrum. And this isn’t even the wild stuff, just the basics. Though we can also discuss and disagree on what constitutes “the basics.”

That all leads to us asking ourselves, what is a ‘pretty standard sex scene’ to me?

I recently saw a study where an organization was doing a survey to find alternatives for the word ‘horny’ for women. I am all about different and more descriptive words than horny, but it got me thinking, how do I describe it to myself? How would I describe it to others?

One guy I was talking to was discussing the reality of male stamina, how many times and for how long? What reality looks like for one, well, may just be that. Reality for one. Also, he put forth the idea that young men (Legal age of course) were clueless and needed to be ‘taught’. I put forth the idea that everyone starts off clueless, and whether you gain knowledge though research – theoretical or practical, or experience -say trial and error, that as long as you pay attention, listen and care, then you are doing well.

We had very different ideas on what a well intentioned young man was capable of in a scene, much less what one could create. My writer friend doesn’t see the scenes I create as realistic because the guy knows what he is doing and is paying attention to his partner’s reactions. Makes you wonder about all the writers out there and the aspiring writers too. These stories need to be told. Some of them are real and some are fantasy, but there are many variations that should be shared.

Any particular turns of phrase turn YOU on?

Aspiring for fun you could say.

So as I have mentioned previously, I set myself up one of those 101 things in 1001 days where you put in goals of all sorts. All sorts of things, some wild, bucket list items and some more a stretch bigger than a ‘To do List’.

I just realized that my current list just came due, so it is time to evaluate.

Completed: 55 I wrote a lot (though I didn’t publish), paid off some debts, had some fun experiences (Went ziplining!) did some travel before Covid, and took some time and actually did some self care.

Can’t complete (Covid) = 9 (most involving travel or visiting a specific place/institution/location, I did have some travel plans that were cancelled last year. I know, me and the rest of the world.)

What’s left – yes, I am apparently a slacker. =37 (sigh)  Yeah, exercise and weight loss were in there too.

Some of what I didn’t do…. might keep these for later.

#32 Brew own beer (1 batch!) – I am bummed I didn’t do this one!

#57. Try Fencing  (learn to Fence)   I FOUND a place, but haven’t made the call yet. Maybe I can blame this one on

Covid, though the place I did find is now open. (See, I am a slacker!)

#88 Get a good headshot taken (got one taken, I am not pleased with it, will try again) I am not a fan of headshots.

I look at where I was when I made this list, July 15, 2018, and that seems like a world away. So much has happened, so much has changed, there are important people who were around in 2018 and now who are not.

This new list will be a different one and I won’t beat myself up for not completing a greater percentage.

Now making my new list, because of course! I think I need to change some things as I plan my new list. I like to push myself, but there are things on these lists that I have not ever accomplished…. Trying to make this list a bit more aspirational….. perhaps with just a smidge of things that are boring but good for me.

New priorities, values and goals I guess- need to get ready for this next round!

What are your goals/dares for yourself?

In writing a character’s trials and tribulations it is often a helpful exercise to think about what your character will and won’t do. What do they want to do, what they don’t want to do (but probably will) and where do they draw the line? What are their strengths, flaws and what are they willing to sacrifice for? In one of my works my main character is a young woman who is thrust into an active sex life by her choices. She is able to say NO at any point, but she chooses to fulfill her career path and though it isn’t all sunshine and roses, she leans into it, finds value in it, and learns that her empathy and awareness are some of her strengths and that her body is strong and beautiful. Her choices lead her though her adventures but others choices (of course) also impact her life and her world.

This got me to thinking about where the lines are and what can be a person’s downfall. At what point do they go to far and lose themselves? Either they get sucked into something or they are broken by the experience…. or they love the thrill of power or some other aspect that makes them leave that boundary behind them. (And the few lucky and strong ones win the day and survive without a scratch, and of course that would be us, right?) Looking at celebrities and politicians and people in power around the globe, it makes you wonder what is their downfall? What is something they could do that is so bad that they won’t admit to doing it or if everyone found out they would be abandoned by their fans/followers/voters?

Often money or sex, but sometimes other things, or the “wrong” money or sex.

What would turn their people against them if they knew what happened behind closed doors.

Some people have a line that they refuse to cross and instead of cross it they quit, or they fight to the death or sabotage themselves. There are fictional examples of this but also many real life examples all around us. Makes one think about the boundaries we set for ourselves where our do/don’t/must not lines are located.

Especially when dealing with Magic or The Force or some other power…. learning where those lines are is so important.

Anyway, something to think about…

“Something like this will test you like nothing else,” Mac said. “You’re going to find out who you are, Harry. You’re going to find out which principles you’ll stand by to your death–and which lines you’ll cross.” He took my empty glass away and said, “You’re heading into the badlands. It’ll be easy to get lost.”

― Jim Butcher, Changes

“No one just starts giggling and wearing black and signs up to become a villainous monster. How the hell do you think it happens? It happens to people. Just people. They make questionable choices, for what might be very good reasons. They make choice after choice, and none of them is slaughtering roomfuls of saints, or murdering hundreds of baby seals, or rubber-room irrational. But it adds up. And then one day they look around and realized that they’re so far over the line that they can’t remember where it was.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

Are you familiar with Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files? I have read the first 10 books so far and find them fun, thought-provoking, well written, and the best kind of snarky.

The wizard Harry Dresden is a ‘rough-around-the-edges’ Private Investigator and yes, resident wizard, who happens to sometimes help out the Chicago PD. I love the fact that the series is mostly set in Chicago. Midwestern Culture for the win! In the books, he deals with all sorts of magical creatures, magical humans and regular humans, sorting out the good, the bad, the chaotic, and the dependable, plus everyone in between. He is an inclusive guy who will help those truly in need but also gets himself into trouble. Think a magical, one-man version of “The A-Team”.

The emotions are well written, you feel like you are there with Harry. He’s a smart ass and a fan of nerd pop culture. The books can make you think (if you are in the mood to be philosophical) about good and evil, and the nature of villains. Sometimes in the Jessica Rabbit kind of way -“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way”, sometimes in the style of Voldemort. Every book and every adventure is different.

Right now, I am reading the compilation of short stories now called Side Jobs, Stories from the Dresden Files. On the cover is a quote from Entertainment Weekly ” Think Buffy the Vampire Slayer starring Philip Marlowe.” I think that is a truly apt description.

Given what is going on in the world today, fighting evil in a book is a nice escape while still timely and relevant.

Thinking about the New Year (yay it’s 2021) and my “bucket list” for the next 1001 days or so, (it doesn’t start yet, but I have started thinking about it). I have some things to check off, go places I haven’t been in a while, see people I haven’t seen in a long time, have a fondue party, play a round of golf for real… stuff like that, and it got me thinking that I also want to learn new things. Skills perhaps, but just trying something to see if it resonates with me, do I want to learn more? Sometimes you have to learn a little to see if it clicks, or you get hooked.

Like Yoga, I have tried a few different yoga classes each with different instructors and while I didn’t hate it, I never really felt like I wanted to go back. It didn’t click with me. Nothing terrible, I wish I did like Yoga, and maybe I will find a type of Yoga or an instructor that I click with, anything is possible. Zumba clicked with me; I was happy, exhausted, and pumped at the end of a class. Certain Kickboxing classes resonated with me as well. Therefore, what do I want to “TRY” whether I actually really learn something or not, I want to try new things? Still thinking about that, I know I want to try things, putting it down on paper makes it real, and a touch intimidating… but I will get there.

A few more potential goals:

I have been reading Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series. It has been fascinating. I will go into more detail in another post, but totally worth the read. Just finished Wizard and Glass, which is the fourth book in the series. One goal for 2021 is to finish the series.

I am loving The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. I want to finish the series this year and try some of his other works. So far, I am a fan!

The usual stuff, eat healthy, exercise more, stay in touch or reconnect with friends and family, the pandemic really put it into sharp relief, but I had been craving reconnecting with friends for some time. It has been so nice to reconnect with some folks over this past year.

I started thinking about goals for 2021 and “Bucket list ideas” and my post A Bucket List for 2018 and Beyond resonated with me.

“This got me thinking. Should everything on a Bucket List be aspirational? Should the list be a lifelong thing or something to shoot for every few years? Should it push you to try new things, adopt new habits or ideas to reflect on and things to appreciate?”

So now, here it is years later and I have done some of the things on that list. Not all of them by a long shot, but many. I was proud of the fact that I am trying to push (well, nudge maybe) myself to learn/try/do new things.

“A high percentage of things on my list were learning new things (a musical instrument, a new language, college-level classes, etc.), making things from scratch (sewing, knitting, cooking, brewing, etc.) and self-care – trying new types of massage, getting a manicure/pedicure – just because, buy some great shoes.

I am, apparently, really bad at most of this.“

Yup, still bad at this, but maybe getting a little better. Thinking about what I want to do is an exercise in reflection and wonder. I don’t know what I want to do, why is that? Shouldn’t I want to do things?

What do I want? World peace, good health, lots of general ideas, but specifics…. not so much.

What do I want to do? Realistic things that I will do in the next year or three…. stuff to ponder. I have some ideas now, will work on getting my list together.

Do you know what you want? Are you going for it?

What is a Villain?

Is it an age old type or has it changed at all for the modern era? How do villains act and what do villains look like these days? If I need to create a villain, how should I describe them? Perhaps someone who will stop at nothing, with a hunger for power, money, fame or simply control?

In The Hunger Games the Government in the Capitol wants the common people to stay in their caste or their lane and will stop at nothing to ensure control. Even in The Lego Movie Lord Business didn’t want people to mess with his stuff. He wanted control above all else. The Emperor in the original Star Wars trilogy is the biggest baddie of the series, what motivates him?

In Harry Potter, what does Voldemort actually want? To get his body back originally, but primarily to get his power back and then rule. Two kinds of power in that one.

Other villains, do they enjoy messing things up just for the fun of it?

I suppose some people do things for personal reasons, like beauty, living forever/eternal youth. What would make you give up all of your values, what would be the edge of morality? Is there something that you would never, ever do? (And what happens when you find yourself doing that very thing?)

Do villains ever just want knowledge? (Or do they only want to use the knowledge for power or other reasons.)

Are villains corrupt or corruptable? Is it a moral failing that makes them villains? Voldemort was a very powerful wizard, was he always evil? If he hadn’t gone to Hogwarts would he have been as powerful? How did Voldemort end up in an orphanage?

What makes a hero? Is it someone who isn’t corrupt or who doesn’t give into temptation. Or draws a line and stays on the right side of that line. Sometimes it is a matter of survival, the person with the power survives or wins. Sometimes there isn’t really one villain, but the system is the villain.

Is there a villain in every story? Many people I have heard from about writing say that there must be conflict. I understand why they say that, but I also think that there is a place for stories about growth.

Do readers not find those stories interesting? Some of the romantic stories I have read are stories of growth and connection, though often there is a conflict story thrown in to interest the reader.

Do all science fiction and fantasy stories need an Evil villain?

If things go badly soon, what weapons are you comfortable with?

Knife? Baseball bat? Some folks are trained in firearms, hand to hand combat, sword, or other options. Some are trained in words.
All take time and dedication to learn, and aren’t something you can just pick up and be good at wielding.

Think Bilbo Baggins or Frodo if you like, weapons don’t really belong in the Shire, but they learn to use them over time. Often necessity is the reason, but it doesn’t have to be.

If someone picked you up and took you with them in a fight/major battle between good and evil, what weapon would you bring right now? If you became a companion, or had to defend yourself what would you do?

I recently realized that I know very little of self defense. I would like to learn to defend myself, try archery perhaps and grow my knowledge of such things.

In apocalyptic fiction there are weapons of all types. Handmade, straight from the factory, crude and powerful.

So often in apocalyptic fiction the power goes out and due to some reason (war/famine/disease) the population is much lower than today. People have to fight closer, one on one or in small groups. Large bombs and large aircraft/ships and such are too much trouble. So think about it. Hopefully we will never need to resort to unruly masses with mostly homemade weapons, but it is something to think about as I write.

What is your weapon of choice?

Halloween is now over and the Christmas decor and music is firmly installed in all shopping places here in middle America. Before we get too immersed in the gift buying (if that is your thing, if not, totally cool) I thought we should reflect on what we saw on (and around) Halloween. What costumes did you see? Which ones were the best?

I saw many as I (masked and appropriately social distanced) handed out candy to the neighborhood kids. Some had homemade costumes, others store bought and some were simply amazing. I saw Transformers that transformed, princesses of every stripe, witches, Harry Potter extras and lots more. One kid had on the inflatable waving “guy” that we usually see outside car dealerships and the like. He was socially distanced inside it, (Can you say positive air pressure everyone?) and looked great. Adults and kids all got into the spirit and seemed to have fun with the best holiday to wear a mask.

What did you see?